What Kind of Vegetable are You?

Have you ever been part of one of those ice-breaker games where someone says, “If you could be an animal, what would you be?” Or maybe it was a fruit, or a car…

            I was in one of these sessions not too long ago when I was asked, “If you could be a vegetable, what would you be?”

            It took me a few minutes as I went through different vegetables: carrot? Sweet, crunchy, good for the eyes…nah. Radish? Such a lovely blush of red, but spicy with a little kick…nah. Face it, Jean, you’re not that glamorous.

            I’m a potato. Well, at least I thought I was. You know the type: simple, nourishing, lots to give but very workaday. Very adaptable; can be mashed, baked, fried or even scalloped; dressed up with butter, sour cream, chives, cheese or a more sophisticated sauce. But by itself, just very solid with a propensity to grow funky eyes if neglected for too long.

            I’ve thought of myself as a potato, that is, until my novel, Scars of Sand and Soil was published. This novel has violence, intrigue, suspense, and sex. And the reactions I’ve received about it all have been fascinating to say the least. Everyone has been supportive, but the comments of, “Who knew…?” or, “Wow…such an uh…such an imagination!” indicate that they wonder about me and what else goes on inside this head of mine.

            Okay, so I have a lot of questions that begin with “What if…” and I spin all kinds of scenarios. I do appreciate the ironic and I’m not afraid of exploring the dark side of human nature.

Does that make me less of a potato? Well, according to my daughter, it does.

            “It makes you an onion, Mom,” she replied. Can a potato turn into an onion? Or was the potato always an onion and I just never thought of myself that way?

            I guess it’s all in perspective. As an onion I’m still pretty humdrum on the outside, but I’ve got layers and underneath that plain exterior is flavor, texture, and the ability to make others shed tears. And best of all, it’s used to spice up dishes, and is also known for its wonderful medicinal properties.

            I kind of like myself as an onion. A sweet, Vidalia onion, that is. And if that makes others wonder a little bit about me, that’s okay. I can always present as a potato if that makes people feel safer.